Padi – Ternyata Cinta

10 months berlalu…

hmm why is hard to trust ppl?? worry?nape aku still takut nak ada..serius r/ship wif sumone,wlpun dah ada dpn mata?? nape aku still nak fikir byk?when he said tat he love me? ntahlah. aku doubt sumabenda, i dunt wanna get hurt and hurt hati org. hmm,aku taw dan aku sedar diri.. org cam akuh, patut appreciate suma nie…jgn sampai all thz slip from my fingers again.ek? tp…ntahlah. aku takut, dgn hati aku sendiri..whether like or love?? … yups.. xleh nafikan…dan xleh tipu sbnarnya aku nak serious r/ship tuh,aku nak je tulis pasal org yg aku syg kat dlm blog nie. tp… akuh betul2 takuts. dan aku sendiri belum boleh baca hati aku…dan byk benda lagik yang aku tak boleh lupa….. i’m sorry.So, biarlah aku ttp camni…

Cinta bukan sekadar kata-kata indah
cinta bukan sekedar buaian belaian peraduan
Cinta adalah ruang dan waktu
datang dan menghilang
semua karunia sang pencipta…..

Fort Minor feat Holy – Where’d u go?

i know..i’ve already move on …foward.but demm…why must i dream of him ????suddenly!!fcuk!! i hate this feeling.i hate.. i feel lk shit!i fl like an idiot!please.i’m not suppose to feel this way.urrghh… miss ..??miss ur voice,miss all the past.yes!! f**k!hate it!i feel stupid! benci fikir… tp tulah fact.unintended i guess.im sorry…BIG SORRY.

Muse – Hysteria

hmm apa yg berlaku sesaat sblm skrg, semlm,kemarin or last2 years adalah kenangan bg kita.tho happy or sad things… ia tetap ada dlm hati & ingatan kita….still. . hmm dan semua tu dah pun berlalu…. *

*mementos*family,cousins,home,friends,cat..sakura etc *

life must goes on….. yeah.guess everyone happy now! . Good! Good!

on another notes, sedey…jealous.. hihi* hmm yelah sedih sbb br je tgk pics2 dieorg kat sekmmu@klate.uiihh jeles akuh. mcm menariks je. & aku xleh pegi mcm diorg suma. uuwaaaaa… hopefully trimester dpn, dptlah aku pegi. dgr khabar kat Utara pulak. waa… nak buat camne eeh…redha jelah.

*countdown d days* and waiting till everythin revealed

sumtimes, i wonder.about me, family, friends and org2 sekeliling akuh. bila semua yg berlaku dlm hidup aku yg sbnrnya saling berkait.maybe hidup mcm tu gak. dan.. dlm hidup ni gak, kita slalu nk dapat yg t’baik. a good life, career, kaya… bahagia & gak dpt jumpa gud guy @ husband.etc. normal kan sume org nak mcm gituh.?? ntahla…mungkin gak kite dpt apa yg kita nak,and tats gud! and bila xdpt ape yg kite nak..mebi kite mengeluh. Mungkin..kite leh fight utk dptkan apa yg kita nak tu..kalau tat “things” worth to us. but,if it doesnt.. just let it go.right??maybe ade certain other things more *precious* and worth!…hurm, think!

apart from tat,i’m actually care much of anything or what happens, aku care what person thinks of me.sumtimes,i tried hard to take care of ppl feeling & forgot to takecare of my own feeling. dan xboleh elak bila aku mula emo.. bila byk sgt burden dlm otak aku.kkdg gak aku pelik wats make me so special, bila aku rs yg instinct aku slalu je betui.ntahla..mungkin gak satu kebetulan kan?.but, at some points,i didn’t care what happened.for examples, who’s reading my blog, what i’m wearing slalunya slekeh,ok ke tak okay ke &..who’s my friends.. coz aku mmg suka berkawan!.. hmm, well mcm2. aku pun xtaw kenapa aku type entry nie.crapp! i’m bored actually duduk sorang2 kat rumah!!! baru lepas mandikan “dedek.”(kucingku) sbb dah sebulan die xmandi..hahaha…!!! oklaa… nak tgk tv.babai… sekian. terima kasih.

Avril Lavigne – Nobody Home

memento*1989*

actually,tadek citer besh pun harini… cuma harini, sy berjaya masak kari ayam yg best & sy jatuh centa! huhuhu…acah jer! selain itu, my parents akan pergi bercuti lg ke China nxt wk, & sy pula akan tetap setia duduk di rumah ni..yeaaaaaaa….. sekian terima kasih.

"aku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
yang kini hadir diantara kita
namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
yang slama ini temani hidupku" – Demi Waktu,Ungu..

"yes i'm afraid to take that risk again…
to give a change to myself..
well maybe they were right..
but, they never knew what actually had happened ..
how hard & hurt myself becoz of that..
but somehow, i still convinced myself..
i miss that feeling…
but i loathe..the truth to be hold…..haih"

music : incubus – aqueous transmission.. 

People always say, you win some, you lose some. i do believe in it. But the weightage of what we lose and win is different. None are of the same weightage. none will be on the indifference curve. None will even out the impact of the other. Sighh…

when sumtings is significantly changed.. and some part it still remain in my heart…

i miss some beautiful moments in mylife that merely gone… i miss everythings actually.. but for now, i only can see it from far.. and i wish one day, there will be a new hope for me.. a miracle..

~ nape kite publish…sumting kat internet??..wats internet actually? thnk hihi..??!!~

HUHuhu..APRIL FOOL peeps!

#lsumone called me unexpectedly.. yah i didnt talk much now. bape kali nak state benda tuh…and yeah i'd change much…..since..

hmm… try to think a good topic/question to break the silent but then it  resulted me to ask the very lame questions again!ahaha..ntah la. i wantto make the conversation cheerful as possible but ntahla.again. mebi becoz i didnt have mood to talk in that time… but sbb nak jaga hati, i tried to pretend those moodless mood watever-feelings…haihh..apelah punye entry nieh……..

*balik rumah je mkn besh2, ikan terubuq bakar, udang grg tepung, sayur champuq..telur asin.. etc.. hahaha… sonoknyee.malas nak blk cyber dah! haih…

music : diana ross – cant hurry love 

• Again. whenever he asked me about that questions, i really dont have a perfect answer to give him,i dont want to hurt him..and at the same times, afraid he will mad at me when he knew about it…but thanks god, he didnt. Thanks for not blaming me..fault from my past.. a story of mylife that was enough for us.. !life is already fated..to be liked that.. accept the truth. Yes, i tried to rectify the things, but guess i’d failed. maybe the things from the past still wont changed.. or there might be related to other unknown reasons that probably we dont know…so it’s about life again right? it’s mylife..i believe life has its toll on us and life throws many things at us, from all angles, of all kinds. its not so much of what is being thrown at us that makes us ‘us’ but more of how we deal with it that actually shapes ‘us’. eveything that life has thrown at us is a test. Be it sadness, happyness, frustration, anger or joy. its actually a test for us to gauge and determine what’s our level from to time to time. More like a reminder in that sense…. hmm 

Well,i dont want to think in deep shit for this matter *hopefully*…now, i’m happy wif mylife, rejoice every happy events around me… and for other unrelated things? go fc_k** thmselves!..oooo..  i just let it be…  what ever will be will be..

• aaihh..busy giler,mana nak fikir pasal sponsor, handle events! study & exam lagi! pening pale gueh. pi Japaness carnival kat mmu nie, mkn2…takoyaki..dorayaki…sushi..etc sumaada.. *hmm..nape eh mkn tu besh? hihihihi *

music : ahmad band – aku cinta kau dan dia..

10.46 pm: let me keep this feeling forever…..until the end of everythings..

music : Bee Gees – To Love sumbody

Yes,i know i’d been changed a lot…seriously, some ppl said that i’d been sumbong for not calling them or sms them or even ym them. well, maybe i prefer to sit infront of my laptop..surfing to death,blog,favourites,fotopages,mp3 & stuffs!ho!ho! hmm.. love spend my time with adobe photoshop, unlead photo or other editing images software tools that had been installed in my lptop…!my regular activity during my notso free time! my chatting habit?owhh dah lama di-tinggalkan,maybe sumof them wud buzz me & said hi! but..for me?haih.. malas giler! so, BIG sorry to them OK. aan besides that, my communication skill also become lesser than ussual, well i dunno why? sumthin was wrong sumwhre, now i can only speak to sumone only bout 10 minutes on phone…that’s the MAX times! and..after that i wud say OKlah.. or let he/she to speak the rest. OWH.. what hellwrong happened to me?Not to mention lately, i have difficulty to remember where i put my stuffs and memorize ppl’s name! aaa.. SHORT TERM MEMORY lost? HA?!!.. oooohh..maybe byk sangat makan MSG?aaiihh.. nape?. owhh..please.. i’m scared really.  

Besides that, if i were to illustrate the condition of my head at the moment, it would be like this space with so many things, scattered everywhere. Not quite within my reach. It’s the exact same way how i feel right now. i know everything is there. It’s just that i’ve not really sat down on it to scrutinised it all. I guess the time will come. I know it will. I just don’t know when.  guess it’s true.i’m such a control freak,feel so lost when i’m not in control of myself. In a way, i feel like i’m so vulnerable when i’m in this state of mind, body and soul. i don’t like it one bit. i feel helpless and hopeless. ooh world it’s crapp!…HMM..sumthing suddenly bother me. and this thought…and yes i need togo sum places to get back the pleasure… free my mind tho… another shopping?eliminate this feeling!-> so hmm, it’s natural for humanbeing to seek pleasure and avoid pain..like me ya!.and dont get me wrong, i’m not emo! i’m really ok..i’m rambling the useless entry…becoz i’m bored & lonely. HOHOHO…..and miss sumone really bad!