in the middle…. Friday, Feb 18 2005

So its begins…..

Hiet!!

(*lastnightt became memory…remember what had i told u..remember what you told me..if i go,you’ll find me…will you?:X..)

It was beautiful morning again, cool and sensasion!it was wonderful time,nice..when someone just greet you everytime you wakeup from sleep!feel like its just right beside you…heheh…!!hurm….and to that someone good luck for your interview at Tokyo!!i want to ZZZzz right now….dont wake me up!!i want to continue lazing myself on bed!!!

well, right now i feel like i’m caught in the middle…don’t know what to do at times,i guess there’s really too much work to think but i cant help it…i wish things would just work out that there would be no struggle or anything!!things got tobe done nomatter how..nomatter what!!ooohhh next week, midterm exam Micro & management!huhuh…study-study!! then my mom called me, she said she already bank in money for me!!yeppeeiii…erks.. actually my ssavin’ money in the atm is absolutely at the criitical limits!!huhuhu….=(!!!at the afternoon,i outto lunch wif shasha !!i came back to my room and i just saw he’s available,seems likes he already came back from the interview!yah we got a lil fight, and i’m start it!i’m not supposed to use the harsh word to him,i’m delusion and i cant help it!sorry…he just walk away and its hurt me… =(

i tend to wonder about things…big things, little things, things about how i live my life, how others live their lives, how we as people interact with one another,this blog is putting my questions, my wonderings out into the world,maybe they’ll continue to wander on alone…or maybe, just maybe, there’s someone else wondering about the same thing… and our thoughts can companion each other…i dont know. Just now i read one of this blog,although i try to get rid from reading that blog, but i’m still curious…curious that beyond my expectation!i feel a lil bit sad, i dont know why should i? i feel a bit lone right now..scared, i cud feel after this something will definetely changed!!i know… i really know… =(So, that’s what you’ll find here…my thoughts, questions, and wonderings…and hopefully, here is where my thoughts, questions, and wonderings will encounter companions for the journey of mine….

*night, i’m going out wif sya & Mye… just one way to release my stress and some of my sadness,!man… were completely hang out all the night.. from 8.00pm and at 2.26am… baru balik..huhuhu…! first destination to Mid Valley…for shopping2 tiime… then, kiteorang had dinner kat Bangsar…. right after that we’all straight to KLcc… lepaks kat Gloria Jeans Cofee… sambil dengar life performance yang tak besh kat Mushroomm… until 12 plus2…maybe nearly 1.. …huhuhu.. and had alotof fun time…then, we all g Wangsa Majuplaks… cant uimaginee???huhuhu…. boleh lagi sya nak gi Uptown… but enuff for that… and i feela bit of sleepy actually..and just thinkin of sum1…but i ‘m the only one who got that kinda feeling right?? =(… balik2 jer.. aku pergi bilik shasha & Nani… i gv them sum Muffins…hmm..hihi.. whereeva pun kite pergi… kite mesti ingat org yg tetinggal tu…& thats what frenzships are… …. wah…penat dah skung, oredi 2.50.. ape nakbuat eh?? tdo best kot…hihihi… Gud Nite!!

~COOKIESS& cREAm..YUMMyyYY

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another dayyzz… Thursday, Feb 17 2005

So its begins…..

Hello….

Actually,I love morning eventhough i’m not a morning person… especially when the sun wraps my body passionately with subtle warm..a bit sweating and accompanied occasionally with windy-windy air!!i can say that today morning was absolutely fine! i dont have to complain hots or somethings..!!maybe i’d been cool enough by someone voice right after i wear my head phone!!greet me “good morning”!!!perfect!!….

i love today…apart from the lovely morning weather, i had the whole morning to myself and this essentially mean that i can do my own things taking my own sweet time,i have no managemnt class at 2pm coz my lect donot come back from India and no rush time for me… too..it just a pleasant day forme!!watching naruto…blogging and surfing(regular things i do..day by day), and then go for lunch time with Shasha and went to the bank!!~on the afternoon..things are absolutely changed!!no sweet weather, its so damn hot!everybody was dealing wif the same probs!! geezz… sabar ajerlah!!what else i could do in this type of weather instead of doing the same routinee of myself….i mean nting todo la..!!i drink lotsa plain water-husshhhh!!…
my first archery training had been cancel due to rain!!wahlaa… first time raining in Cj since i went back here!!its cool!!we already dressup & ready but then CANCEL..spirit down!! yah, weather probs nothing can do about it..at last, we all just stayed in car.. and had talk (me,sha& liyana) and took somepics…!!10 types of faces expression!!i’m good in that!you know me… i’m the best drama queen and i love to act & art and those stuffs…huhuhu..best!!!we laugh, we all spend bout 1 hour plus with the hot story!!we ‘re planng for the holiday…for the sem break on April till June!maybe to oversea..hihihi=)..despite that,we also discuss bout Cik Su wedding Ceremony on 26th Feb at club near Melawati …next saturday!!everybody is planning to wear vogue things!!erks me??exceptional.. (maybe?) ..

#i came back, connected… and bout 15minutes after he greet !..i dont want to start a fight when he askin bout it…=(

Well,my rapid changing mood just came by..and it was completely went off the roof..alone!mye had already went out!!….and i just came back from dinner with shasha and nani, i ate mee goreng basah, but i think its not mee grg basah but nearly to flooding mee goreng or equally to mee hailam!!but no matter what name it’d been called …its just taste good.. and my stomach is growling to see that food..yum-yum..!THEn we go to HB3, i bought a blueberry cake..(cake for fat)…and cheezel!!huhuhu…

*right now i just wondering what i want in my life and also in my relationship,i’ve been thinking for several times..!!are things gonna be the same…in future…?i LOVE this man…I LOVE TO THINK ABOUT THIS MAN…your eyes on me.. ;;)..but there a story behind all this…..always!

*for someone i love to wish you good luck for your interview!!take care =)…

I hear a noise
My heart awakens
To the sound of your whisper
And the warmth of your voice
My heart beats faster
A single moment
Is just enough
Look into my eyes
They are the windows to my soul
See into my heart
Find the me I’ve never known
Awaken me softly
Kiss my dreams goodbye
You’re creating a noise here
Two heartbeats together,
yours and mine …..(The Two Heartbeats….poetry)

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sleeepy mode… Wednesday, Feb 16 2005

So its begins…..

hiett!!!

finally, i finished up my midterm exam for Critical Thinking!!though it a bit tough quests but, i think i did it a bit better compared to my first quiz…!!Alhamdulillah…huhuhu…=)…theni i had dinner with Shasha..

*now back in my room… firstly,i was feeling good, but now im not so sure! it comes and goes in waves every day, this feeling of crowdedness in my head and the feeling of dread in my gut, and it contrasts nicely with the feelings of emptiness and emotional & mental tiredness due to fully output my critical thinking,i think i am an emotional sponge also(huhuu…), i soak and soak, but can only soak up so much… and currently i am full, just waiting to be squeezed out…. hmm i dont know how well that metaphor extends…. i’ve also found i like silly metaphors when im in oddly moods….am i??

i was thinking, just now.. sometimes when i entry a post,and i always writing the thing that trapped inside me ,and i do write bout ppl round me,close to me…and how would they react? would they just go on pretending that everything is cool?i dont think so, coz i just figure out that they are concern bout the things that i had written…!!huhuh……

* Oklah… i guess this isit…BORING & enough for tonight!! gagagag… pale dah din-dong…!! wanna be wif someone now..Maybeee….huhuhu…GOOD NIGHT…

HGHH

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ordinary….again!!! Tuesday, Feb 15 2005

So its begins…..

I ‘m wake up this morning when i heard the chimess sound from my laptop,5 minutes before 7.00am, before my alarm starts singing lalaala…!huhu but then, i just been asking through lotsa questions from someone….(i’m in blurrr mode,please dont hit me:( with those quests)!!i’m not guilty~none wake me up and i dont know why i’m turn to ‘idle’ late,maybe i was disconnected lastnite and then i auto avails back!!sorry..and thank you for being my alarmer…and wake me up!i really2 appreciate that…:)~i’m going to Micro class , the lect teach bout Perfect Competition.. grafffffzzz and it was suck!!and i hate it..i was so sleepy at that classs..(nak tdo kenecover2)..so xpayah lah!!!~free from 10 -12…then class 12-2…!!!~balik2 jer tengok die dah “not at mydesk”,sleep already eh???so.. what to donow??layan Naruto and Kingdom Hospital…pastu tdo..gagaga seeronokkkkk woooooo…

*a few minutesss jotting down after struggling hard wif Critical Thinking Notes….

i got stomaccache… ouch!!i cant stand up or walk., i just can sit or laying on my bed only!!argghhh its hurt much!seriously i donot know what coz of this pain,i’m not having my period now..but why suddenly i got this ache in my tummy…hmmm argh… i have to forget about the pain and continuing my study on Ct..chapter by chapter…=(…”mase itu emas”…!!…maybe.. but yelah, banyak sangat distract things kat sini…susahnye nak concentrates in doing things..hhiihi…y huh?aku jadi seorang tak\\ particular…huhuhu… sedar diri sikit oittt…

*Alhamdullilah …baru dapat info that assg CT aku, dah kuar dah result…gaggaa..memula yana leh uat lawak cakap almost failed…:(( ,rupenye die gurau… huhuh.. Alhamdulillah dapat 74%, B+ means… contribute 7.4 percents dari 10% total..!!hmmm ade semangat skit….ok.. gambateee.. utk midterm plak!!!kene uat betul2!! )….

*i feel happyyy….tonight.last nite… and last2 nite!!…thanks ….

*why should you treat me ,,,so passionately, why every words that you said makes me….

dontyou know??dont you forget??…..

could this feeling last foreva or will just bring me to tearsss???………waiting for that time……wat gonna be…??what is the end…??or…. good nite ….(hehehe…is this a part of emotionn..illusion, imagination, feeling or amore…???)!!!

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my thought…. Monday, Feb 14 2005

So its begins…..

* first things when i wake up,i just hope everythings will be fine and clear by today!!yah right its once of my major probs that geting touch with my own feeling and connecting to other feeling…hard!!yah i’m sure i already learned my lessson well…and i promised to myself i will neva eva try to make the same mistakes agains not wif my very2 closssse soulmate !!!okeyy… there you goes.. the moral of the story!!hopefully no more disappointed things etc2… mood should be changed..things will be betta …friend that we lurve.. care…will always there no matter what…that should be cure for any wounds….trying to understand…or doing something that will bring back the forgotten smile,~its is just what it needs…things are getting normal

It’s infectious to anybody who sees it and fill your head and heart with happy thoughts and give everybody a chance to correct themselves if they’re wrong…(although something will makes us hurt..)We’re all humans and to forgive somebody is more satisfying than to curse or verbally abused ppl…right? Hurting others is not the way of expressing our feelings,emotion!! It’s not gonna do us any good. Close your eyes and walk away. If we are well-behaved, people would come to respect us and treat us appropriately….(mum says)!!Though there’s a person in mylife always says some harsh for me, i just accept it…one day the truth will be reveal!!and realise it..hopefully..

What goes around, comes around. If we are treated unfairly, there would always be justice waiting for us. If not in this world, then in the life here after. So trust me and do live your life to the fullest!….hehehe…

ok i guess there’s so much things i already put in, maybe this is my thought right now, and donot knew other perception, itsist same or diff to this, people are different right?? me is me and you are you….i just hope start from today i will UnderStanD more….hahaha…. thank you

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ntah… Monday, Feb 14 2005

So its begins…..

Good morning!!hari ni aku bangun agak awal,bout 9.30am macam tu!!actually mommy dah call pukul 8 lebih tanya pasal pics yang tertinggal kat rumah, tapi aku just ckp kat mommy takde apepe t, nothing important, lagi pun aku ade spared pics lagi….:P then continue tido..balik!!hurmmm niatt nak studylepas bangun2 tido terpaksa dipostpone coz ade sebab yang tak mengizinkan …gagaga.. mood pun jadi OFF…!~lunch hour, sha teman lunch kat cafe bawah…then dalam pukul 2 camtu,sempat untuk study critical thinking untuk chapter simile & metaphor & paradox sambil ditemani oleh…last2 diepulak yang tido… kih2…ok pastu, at 5.00pm gi class Critical Thinking,macam2 la Mr.Alan tu,arini die ajar pasal Creative Thinking and bout risk aversion..how to stay away from fear bla2… and pasal how critical thinkers loves bout cognitive complexity~ cam biase la Mr.Alan ade je weird things die akan buat, maybe for him,its a way of taking a risk… pastu die leh bawa kiteorang ramai2 buat round2 kat depan fac, die leh tanye what do you feel standing here?!!!!habis jer class, aku pergi klinik Gomez kat MMu tu sowang2… tulah, due to sakit telinga aku nie.. ape infection kene ntah, sempat sembang2 wif Dr. tu…wah.. sweet sangat doc tu!!siap tanye aku “who teach critical thinking subj?” coz die nampak my book!! of coz la Alan..gagagag…then cam biasela… utk telinga die bagi tear drops tu…!!RM18 kene… hurm,dahla aku tak apply lagi utk HLA …boleh claim!!:P…

haha… balik2 tu, lepaks.. then layan Naruto..baru 1st epps..maybe influence dari die so, tengok jelah.. sebab tak sempat nak tgk 2nd epp coz ade class at8-10.. so gotto off then!!

ke class Marketing… amboihhh a bit shock tengok Dr. NerjangLama nie, siap jeans.. red t-shirt, then sampai class jer, die dok tanya pasal V-tine Days…hahaha..takde topic lain ke???roses..bla2..philips turn to feeling lips…actually class die mmg enjoy tp, taktau la tonite everyone seems dead!!so… before 10.00pm lagi dah habis class… “good news… midterm Marketing will be postpone to 4 mARch 2005″ Alhamdullillah…

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seems likes… Sunday, Feb 13 2005

So its begins…..

*wah… suprising me when my soulmate giving an announcement that she already decide to have a special boyfriend now.. open her heart..and lets the souls be together!!~good for you,hopeso !! maybe its the right time…kan?….wah, seems likes i’m the one who still holdon with the (single but not avail) status…hihihi..!!~erks.. sushi-buchi…haaa (who’s words is thats?-NaniO =P )

*i watching how beautiful scenery of relationship would be between them !!to forgive each other!feeling guilty for no reason maybe becoz they concerned..and they learn how to appreciate each other day by day,making everyday is interesting and wonderful…although distance makes them apart…but their loves stay together… ….

*i just realised how lonely my heart could be for tonight….after had some chat wif Shida,and she asked mebout boyfriend and tomorrow Valentines…man!!do i have to answer it??i still remembered bout last year Valentine Celebration… yah!!me, sha, chen & tom.. we went to Bukit Bintang area… rest and have a cup of Frappucino at Starbuck…looked at couples…its so romantics views…restorens were fulled of love balooons & cadlelight!!can you imagines that??its was so wonderful…aalong Bintang Walk, theres alotof lovely things was selling…roses..of coz the price is lots more higher and thestuffs were so expensivs…comparedto normal… yah!! its a V-tine Day right??ANYTHINGS…for your loves one…(me & sha both of us beli lurve baloon..red &pink~ we exchanged it…its a memor, i cant forget it)…..and last year V-tine i found out something…that definitely bring me to tears.. till now….

but tonight…seems nothing interesting to, i just hope someone will wish me… hopefully…

*I’msorry hun….arghh… i feel extreamly guilty right now… i’m not supposed todo that to her,just a bit missunderstood sebab tak ajak makan,!!owh my goodness i cant find her now…where is she…i’m sorry hun…seriously its my fault…actually we’re planning to celebrate it tonite, but i just screw up everythingss…every single things… man… i donot know what should i do right now… down… V-tine is suckk!!offf…

*I just got SMS Valentines..from my frenz! askin me who wanna be ur valentines?…i dont have to answer that question,maybe i hope for someone and i expected much from him,but its seems…disappoint me to wait for only one wish!!maybe i’m too much tonite, maybe i’m not understand…..but i just expect for tonite.. but nothing comes up…

(* Then,dont lose it when ur got it..make it last..but should i??)…

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back to Cj… Sunday, Feb 13 2005

So its begins…..

It was wonderful nite ,although its ended with hooosshh..hosshhh…..mode=p!!till then,i got to end my internet connection….gagaaag.. sorry yah!!!…hurm, continue tido!!takbes nyer rasa bile pagi2 dah kene wake up@…. bout pukul 8 camtu mommy dah kejut!hari ni… is the end of my midterm holiday,so kene balik Cyber dah… sob-sob.. hahaha… bangun2 jer packing2 my stuffs!makesure sume benda dah packed!!

(*) laptop ~(check)
(*) handphone charger ~(check)
(*) facial wash,make up.. & bla2 ~(Check)
(*) Ptptn form (check)
(*) Books.. Notes (check)
(*) shirts..jeans.. lingerie (check)
(*) installer (check)
(*)purse… & handphone (check)
(*) hhmmmm wat else??? xde perlah….fully checked!!…hahahha..

so, about 12.30pm… sampailah Cj… hurm agaks byk stuffs yang dibawa balik ke Cj nie!!hihih..cam biasela…!!Nasib baikla, rasa macam Cj lebih sejuk from my house…hmm!! sempat pergi bilik shasha untuk sembang.. ngan nani & shasha… miss you both!!and sempat gak makan one slice choc cake shasha….!!:)….ok nak cerita apelagi ehh… somuch actually.. but gonna add up more sooner.. =P

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paste… (In Lurve…) Sunday, Feb 13 2005

So its begins…..

Message: When you are together with that
special
someone,
you pretend to ignore that person. But when
that
special someone is not around, you might
look
around to find them. At that moment, you are
in
love.

Although there is someone else who always
makesyou laugh, your eyes and attention
might go
only to that special someone. Then, you are
in love.

Although that special someone was
supposed to
have called you long back, to let you know of
their safe arrival, your phone is quiet. You are
desperately waiting for the call! At that
moment,
you are in love.

If you are much more excited for one short e-
mail from that special someone than other
many
long e-mails, you are in love.

When you find yourself as one who cannot
erase
all the messages in your answering machine
because of one message from that special
someone, you are in love.

When you get a couple of free movie tickets,
you
would not hesitate to think of that special
someone. Then, you are in love.

You keep telling yourself, “that special
someone
is just a friend”, but you realize that you can
not avoid that person’s special attraction. At
that moment, you are in love.

While you are reading this page, if someone
appears in your mind, then u are in love with
that
person….(WHO??)

HAPPY VALENTINESS DAY…

babyy..cutie 

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there you goes….more. Saturday, Feb 12 2005

So its begins…..

hmmm..i am bloging now and right now i can only hear your whispering your breath into my ear,i called your name for several times but you just act silencely and i know you’re sleeping right now,you just blowing out i wish i can record it for you,but suddenly u turn “offline”!!(why?)…!!

Lately, i feel a bit fun in bloging stuffs..and now I write again…somethings just push me !!i am staying at my room alone now (hahah normaly)…!!i want to express something already block inside me now…!! entittled as “plenty is still not enough”….means we need much!!~i had been discovered that when we did something to the ppl that is so important to us, but we still think its not enough yet and we wants more…gives more.

As forsure,i have to admit that there are many occasions in which we have to give and didn’t get anything in return, yah its normal things inlife!!why must we expect something in return if its based on sincerely?!!Actually,I’m not being demanding nor seeking for pity, it’s just that i’m pretty annoyed when people tend to take me for granted(sometimes).

Maybe i already get rid from my weakness or maybe i’m still in that condition?~well i’m still searching for what would be my breaking point@!or else i will doing the same things over and over again!!!….thres…my attitudess..!!but ppl will find easily to be wif me.. coz ‘m not an antagonist types of person,i just easily follow(maybe)…and i dont want to create any hazards things actually thres no reasons for thats!be nice to ppl and ppl will nice to you (thats mom always says)!!..be real you!!…i’m asking myself ,why must our journey of life in relationship or friendship…will somehow get through some obstacles…?yah ..maybe without thoses things life couldnt be interesting!!right???

ok.. i guess my higgledy-piggledy thought had already ended!!time for contnue doing my works!!or better i read my Critical Thinking!! ~

(mORE..beLow….)

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