i love today…..and every few times left… Monday, Feb 28 2005 

So its begins…..

Morning!!…

Hietttt…

its just one of the loverly morning again~damnly its suck coz i just had to type back all the things back to this again!!man and its wasting my time argghhhh!!okeylah.. lets put back the things that is still capturing and inside my brain!..hihi..!”ayue…cant you put oly those sweet word inside your blog and please dont put those harsh words okey?!!”hahahah.. (this words are mine…so up tome lah!!!)..

it just one beautiful morniing again!coolwith breezeee..and refreshness air.. and i slowly pull back my comforter over me!!sleep..and sleepp… continuing my cooling sensation morning!actually i already wake up and have hour vc with someone,but then…i felt aslept again!i just cant help myself to get off from this slumberness & open my eyes and face the morning view!at 8.30am..my dearie charming person just alarm me to wake up!but i still lazing “golek2″ on bed!!hugging my teddyy and my purple butterfly~”could you wake me up!aat 9.00′?erks,, but at 9.10 the same alarm..the same person!wake me up!but i late..late..late and definitely late =( i got to attence for the Signature Agreement for the PTptn Loan!..10minutes bath..and rush to Stat building with shasha and Fina!!yahhh.. it might sound awesome! when i got 48k …but you know what the suckiesstt damn things to be heard and accepted, that is when he announce, for the monthly payment that i have to pay back after 6 month finished up study!goshh.. rm355.05 per month for 180month, issit that ridiculous but had to be accepted,no matter what… erks!or else please get the First Class Honour Degree,wakawiiiii…. am i?? with this kind of attitudes?

i had my brunch with shasha at Sirah Utara,”sambal ikan keli, sayur…and air asam..”thats all.. and its cost rm4.50!and hmmmm ooooch@ i got to wait for shasha for her “food indulgence”..i donno what she’s doing with the chicken bone,but i likes her style..in exact way of eaten and merely much for the selfsatisfaction!!!hmmm, after that, i went back to hostel, entering my bilik..walaaahhhweee…. definitely cool..my roomate is on bed!with so much pleasure facial expression…sleepinggg…!!hihih..i’m going too..just wait..!!had some talkes…vc…laughing..and fun time with him!!sometimes i feel likes my heart probably on top of something, but when my mind think for something..it just went off… zoooppp…on the lowest part underneath of everything!and at that dot of time, i tried to shut my mouth off…silencely and trying to get everything back to normal!calm myself…i dont want to wasting this few time left with those hurts…let me be happy..and everyone beside me also feel the same way too,right?…

okey!at 5.00-6.00 i got my critical thinking class, today tutorial bout Mind Maping, right after the class i bought tuna sandwich and a scrumptious apple pie (remembering to someone!)… 8 till 10, i got my marketing class…!!right after class went back to bilik… looking at my laptop and.. i smiles.. =)!!

i bought new headphone…just cheap ones!!no brand,value to buy, so whats for wasting money to buy those exp one!right??…. right now i ‘m hearing a natural rythm of something thats called “humanbeing!”hihihi…. cute!!althought it sound like “thats” it just calm me…!!for the every seconds of times…that’s left for me……
GOOD NIGHT!!!!….

just another thought….with another happy day! Sunday, Feb 27 2005 

So its begins…..
Re*Edit……..

Once again its beautiful day!!i been sitting infront of my notebook… wondering what should i jot down today! i been thinking for what had happened … it just happy…i know what i want in life..to be happy right and that will happen when the ppl around me are happy too… i think life is exactly how you make it out to be. You choose to see what you wanna see..if u wanna see only the good parts..then you’ll be happy and satisfied. If u only choose to see the bad parts, then you’ll prolly wallow in sorrow and self-pity. Me? i choose to see the good parts and i believe that something good will comeout of every experience. Taking a step back sometimes could let you see the picture clearer. Sometimes you might juz hold on to something but that could have been pretty selfish. Maybe the alternative way would be the better solution….=P

i slept maybe nearly 5.00am and finally after many days of intense heat, it had finally rained lastnite, and because i’d been wakeup by the biting of the mosqitouess….and its wakes…and there’s so much things..we discussed and talked and everything waas so damn wonderful to me…if its true what its said..part of its life..is me!and maybe three quater of me…is probably you!!i wont forget…promised~~…i do hope..its real what its says..and its not only a sentence…and suddenly i realized my time is too close..too close to the end of something of one story..too fast..everyhour with it, eventhough i tried so hard… not think about it,trying to cheer up myself with every hour and days..left in myheart…but i’m happy now..just let the sadness goes…till it comes…dont ask me why??i’am happy…and i want this feeling continue…foreva!

Theres a song inside of me soul
Its the one that I’ve tried to write over and over again
I’m awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know You’re my only hope
..

thanks..thanks…thanks.. for being here.always!!i’mhappy for you,happy for yourlife..and if its his final decision i’ll wait for you….here..=)..and right now i’ll be strong, and livestrong….some things aren’t special enough to be kept special.,but those that are,and its never wanna even dream of losing,where its new friendships & relationship being made, old bonds tightened, love rekindled, and especially those small little things that think dont matters, which actually matters the most, its the poking, the shoving, the spitting, the swearing,the promising.. the laughing, the hugging, the kissing, the missing, and… and the leaving…=(…i’d been thinking too much!what hell lah..but lets just think about beautiful for both and everyone of us!!laa..laaa…taaa… =P

night…still flooting with happiness…!!i might act like a lil mad today,but actually i feel lotsa..more…super dupper happy!!and..happy dumbelling..happy eating..happy surfing…happy watching Good Luck with my roomate!!and happy waiting….counting and remembering….:X …G.O.O.D N.I.G.H.T!!! =)

happy..happy..& happy…=p Saturday, Feb 26 2005 

So its begins…..

everythings is so wonderful since the morning came… erkss…eventho mlm td suffered ngan masalah xde internet and hard to sleep…mebi bout nearly 4.00am baru tdo,hihi..boleh tak macamm tu?& today exam…huhuhu… & what is the best part aigt??5.30a.m someone just called you…the one that you waiting for,hurmm..butt soweii..sebab brain dah letih sangat, so wake me up another 30minutes..leh tak??ok… 6.00am, the same ring..the same wake up call…bangun la study jap, konon..but after not more than 30minit, tdo balik… sangat letih rasa…i really need rest!!sleep… =(..bile die call back at 8.00…dont ask me..again coz i’m still on bed!maybe on of the reason tu, aku tak boleh nak online..so..rasa cam jauh ngan dielagi…xpelah, better sleep..coz nantikan..bengong plak jawab exam…hey thanks… for wish me up 15minutes before aku gi exam hall… your forth called since morning!!..thanks… makes me smiles… =)…

sampai jer exam hall, ade lagi 30 minutes, jumpe Adi.. tak sangka Yana bawak adi same.. yelah tonite ade wedding ceremony..my lecture mase kat ypmkl,after jer exam..kiteorang gi makan kat Alamanda(me,tasha,adi & yana)… makan waffle choc nut yang sangat sedap, pastu plak…makan hot plate..sizzling mee..chicken mushroom my faaavsss..yum2..pastu ade pplak citer “sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga”…ni sume sebab shasha..ok lah.. so story begins mase…aku makan mee tu.. ade tiny bits..of kuah die kene my tudung, so…after eat tu, sha volunteer la helping me.. betul kan tudung tu..but then, ntah macam mane….dengan tudung tu..pluppp… masuk kat dalam hotplate…. erks!!ok la bile benda tu dah jatuh… sume pandang…senyap… then.. sume gelak macam nak mati, ok2la…rasa nak marah, tapi tak reti nak marah camner…huhu.. cover jelah gelak.sampai kuar airmata…adi, sha..tasha..yana… sume gelak sampai breathless…hihi..actually memang normallah bile dah ade Adi…sure aku kene bulinyer..arghhh beshnyer seeronok rasa zaman dulu kala..owhh.. sempat bli new dumbell…:P.. wah balik2 jer..internet connection dah okey!! yeppei… =) windulah die…..:X…(nak gi Genting..:X)

ok…nak cerita nak tulis atas permintaan ramai..
(REUNION… merangkap..wedding ceremony.. vice versa…)
* sha & me.. from Cj..pergi Cheras dengan kete Fadly @ Y…berborak-borak didalam kereta…sampai Cheras rumah Yana, kat sana dah jumpe Mai yg dari Jb, Azie from Kelate.. Ida.. and Adi… naik kete Yana, kite orang sume bertolak ke Melawati…
sampai je Century Paradise Club, tu… dah jumpe Is.. wah.. rase betul2 reunion, then jumpe Syed Hussein..comel die sekarang,pastu ade la nampak someof the juniour course Coventry lagi yng datang….dan jumpe banyak lecturer… sementara tunggu Tasha from Shah Alam,giler lame tunggu perut pun dah bunyi2….. biler sume dah ade, baru kiteorang enter kat tempat meja tu.. sume duk in same meja..wah!! perut pun dah lapar!!sume pun da kebuloqq,tapi sabar jer tengok food kat atas meja, tunggu dieorang serve kiteorang & majlis mula!!….apepun bagi aku, pergi weding ni memang interesting tengok Cik Su, but to meet our frenz yang dah lame tak jumpe lagi tambah lagi extra2 more heppy…iissit that right???gonna miss you all guys…. ok… bout 11.30pm camtu… sampai dah Cj.. end of the story..till we meet again… banyak sangat cakap..letih dah =P
Enough for tonight!!end….muahhsss.. =p

study day… Friday, Feb 25 2005 

So its begins…..

hmmm.. hari ni busy sangat bangun2 dah lepak library.. mlm2 pon till 12.00pm di library.. study ehh..busy to the max.. esok exam..yepeii…=)..

* nite without internet….huhuhu… kebosanan sungguh!!& hopefully tmrw everythings gonna be otey@@!!;)

i love today…. Thursday, Feb 24 2005 

So its begins…..

hiet!!…

it jst one of the beautiful, wonderful..mesmerising day again!!from the day i woke up till now..huhu..i, get up early inde morning at 9.00am…and study for my management!!earkkk? issit??hopefully i can cover up till chapter 3 coz i got many chapter more to go…my midterm on Saturday!wish me luck…. then, i got a class at 2-4pm my management class..yepeiii…and after that i’m goin back to hostel, erks…kinda sweetkan… when somebody was thre..arghh…best!! thanks..thanks…thanks.. you makes me smiles..looking at you… =)

huhuhu.at the evening 4.30pmmy first archery training!hhuhu cool…best giler plak.. then kiteorang get to knoweach others.. new frenz..woon,andy the mix, aston…the model one(dunno wat his name??),and two more guys,only 3 of us are gurls(me..yana and sha)…at first the instructor bagi kiteorang tau pasal all the safety things…intro to benda2 tu,and practise pull out& in the rubber ban same as..the strength as we wil pull the string of the bow..pastu, baru we all gune that bow and…put the arrow..aim.. and shoot the arrow to the target but..,huhuhu…ouch!!then i became a legolas or arwin??..(i hit the yellow..and red many times.. hahah..jangan jeles yana..and shasha..i’m more powerful than yours)huhuhu… ok la… enough 2 hours plus2 training,then we all came back!!gembiranya…di panas2 hari ini…huhuhu… hmm baru 10 meters… next 30meters..plak..hihihi..ok..huhuhu……..shoottt the butt!!hihiih

ok..i’m off for today!!gud nite…muahs…

just a thought…. Wednesday, Feb 23 2005 

So its begins…..

sometimes what we expected in our day,might be not same as what is really happened!things are different day by day…if lastnight,i think for ppl that deserve better..everyone deserve it,not someone perfect but better to him or herself!!and just arguing and denying feels,Actually.,what is the main things really matters ?Seriously,i might be in wrong position but,i’m sorry..i admit if i am wrong…but i’m do hope i will have some space within it …..

my wish for today just only gone with the wind, i wish i can be happy after i came back .. but damn!the situation just changed from last night!!!i knew i was wrong for what i done for that kinda stuffs…!!but, its hurt when i knew somethings that i shouldnt have to heard and know…!!yah…i am too depressed for accepting that things…i knew its not a fault..its just came by suddenly, and neva been asking…but what does its means??i’m scared to thinks..i do hope ppl will put his/her feet on myshoes right now,and then her/his feel what i feel??or am i too sellfish just only thinking of myself?? i know i’m too far beyond all this,tears…and with alil broken heart..thats only i had right now!!should i or shoudnt i and why??………!! …
**..what eva things goes up or down!!…what inside us is most important….right????so… just heal the wounds by yourself….love…love..love….

.: a lil hope… a lil miss… :. Tuesday, Feb 22 2005 

So its begins…..

then the morning comes….lastnite i sleep a bit early,coz today i got my midterm examination, so i wake up early inthe morning nearly 5.00am and do some final revsion..exam mode!thanks coz your is thre too… =) till i went to exam!!hurmm… man!!the paper was quite tough!i’m not really sure ape yang aku jawap, apepun.. dah usaha so,result die just tawakal jerdot..dot…dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…
dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…
dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…dot..dot..dot…
dot..!y must i write down the dot..dot…dot..
seriously no idea!!

I GOT MY critical thinking midterm result!!but i feel bit disappointed!!though its OK..actually but seriously i’m not really satisfied!& my mood actually down… just trried to cover it infront of everyone!!but not at someoe!!balik2 jer..from class… g jap tengok Fashion Show… sempena WingsOF borneo!!macam2 costume!!seronok gaks tengok.. hbs tu gi mkn, speggety plak… at luch dah makan chicken chop..mebi its a western day for me!!..hhuhuhu… mlm layan Happy 3 Ffrenz,,weeee….weeee….weee…..then….then…. something just happened……

micro..micro…micro… day!!!tomorrow…exam!! Monday, Feb 21 2005 

Helu again….!!!

*FREE WRITING…..

well..dont read this nonnnnseeence..”i’m not myself again…i, again, suffering from the familiar symptoms of uncertainty, of “being lost.” i hate to admit that i hate to think too, …so i try to elude instances regarding my feelings and other people’s feelings…So i’m lost…!i figure out..the road to recovery is bumpy, but trying to get a hang of it,i am still in this emotional abyss where i dunno where i stand, it’s like a ton of pain has brought my shoulders down to the peak of the maximity it can handle,this is so weird, help me….what, how and why this is happening to me.. i haven’t done anything wrong, but i do and i know ! i mean, am i that overrated to put down? to ppl i relied on, of all ppl i love, loved and still loving, what the heck is wrong..Lahhhh?????are you hiding something behind me????erkss…

wakeup 3 times this morning,first at 7.00am.. then at 8.00am… and lastly at 9.00am!!but i i dont thinks it is a cool morning!!weather is fine but!myself is uncool!!it! oklaa… i’m trying to stop it!give some concentration to my Microeconomic…tomorrow Midterm =(!!… dok tengok my book..graff and.. erks dont like it much!tapi apepun, kene go thru gak tmrw… 8.30am till 10.00, wish me luck!! =P

micro…micro..tomorrow…i’ll be waiting..(sucks!) then, at the afternoon, i’m had a lunch with shasha…makan nasi campur jer!!as ussual la we had talks.. exam.. and, there is one question that she asked made me speechless and i afraid to answer it!”do you like…so much?” do i have to pretend myself? although if the spark will gone someday…but if its let it end with something beautiful! please dont let me think about the future…………i havent seen it yet…but all the things in past still trapping in mymind=(

at 5.00pm.. i’m going to CT class….!!i dunnoi feel lotsmore happier goin to class.. erkss.. then my fren azim ask… y muke nampak ceria?happy jer today?” then i replied… “its a happy day for me!!!hahaha… “..

erks… malam!!terpaksa struggle untk micro, itulah kije2 last minit… sempat lepak bilik sha,after vc ngan some1… and thanks sebab teman mase study!!and listening to me.. when i sing!erks you dont have to give those high compliment to me!erks.. i already knew…i got such an angelic voice that would tantalized in you,right??!!!!(wink2)hhuhuhu…. b.o.ri.ng!!and i need break so…. lepak jap bilik sha… layan “HAppy 3 Friend!!” katun comei yang ganas… hahahaha….okla!!gud nite aight! ta…gonna end now.. need enough sleep tmrw nak bangun awal… wish me luck!!

i’m runninng outta time =( Sunday, Feb 20 2005 

So its beginss….

i think bout lastnight!why i’m act and feel so emotionally,unwontedly..worry!those tears cannot heal everythings,i’m not expecting to prevail something,coz issit that really happened???yah..maybe i already knw hows the futures goes between..my premonition will be clear enough but i’m just wait to see how’s it goes!i cant portend everything anything bout mylife inthe future,but some of it maybe i do know.Maybe oneday,some magicals twinkles that will sprinkle above me,noone knows..but if its truth that i should go through, i’ll accept it…i know anythings that we take in ourlife will have its own risks,possibility and consequences…so make up ur mind!dont be so moroniccc!!erkss….

i would like to say thanks to some1 for spending your yesterday with me till the morning comes!!though i got some doubtful and suspicioussshiee feeling thats keeps haunting me,why?and its force me to ask why?but today seems its merely changed, why not same as yesterday??any differences between today and yesterday??i donno….=(!! i spend my morning watching Orange Day back!!
orange.,, wahla….sad watching this Japs Drama..erks…but, i love Satoshi..kawaiii… :P …!!after finished up 2cd, i went for break!erks..showerie myself, before that i had SMS wif tinie, she got financial probs hehehe.,.. so, our date have to cancel!!by the way.. i miss you..bratt!!she’s one my close fwen back to KYPM Bangi,we always hangout together, with Salwa,Farah…Maya..and Himul!!i love that fun time!we always doin some notty things together and she always support me..in many things!i still remember, when she totally mad at me when i end up my decision not to continue my study in medical radiation…it was an old story for me…dont wanna think about it!things are definitely difference right now!~i had my lunch time with shasha and tasha, makan “nasi grg ikan masin”…as ussual, we had talked together..listen to what sha said, seems likes she already and readily to have someone in her heart, couples….yah!she’s going to….and i hope she makes the right decisions!!

…i’m sorry it was too damn hot in Cyberjaya same as my hart right now,seriously i dont know why i mad about things suround me!i feel so in grumpy mood!..and of coz the person thah is close to me will get the aura from me!sorry!yah… i got a probs in dealing to give fully concentrated to my Micro,i dunno why??maybe i have to calm myself first!get some rest again..i tend to act normal,laying on mybed….30minutes rest!…i feel hard to understanding when my mood is totally suck , why should i ask the questions that is only will hurt me?yah.. feel a bit sad when its end with the word “hate“..=(… !!!yah maybe things changed because a reason, just dont have to be a pretender for it!!….

well………….at 6.30pm something i went to Alamanda teman Mye beli towel~she forgot to bring it !!huhu..then, g AtM to withdraw moneyyy, huhuhu…then, lets buy somting to get fat!!eat! eat! yumiiiieeessss..pizzaaa….lasagna and chezzy choc secret recipe cake!!huhuhuhu… enufs food to gain & get fat!!tomorrow.. and tomorrows… promise!!no more eating habits!!pose seminggu!!giler makan~~sebab tensi!!!hahaha….we arrived happily kat hostel nearly 9.00pm!hurm… and once again i had to cancel for the U activities.. The Japaness Cultural Night, hummm… i dont ave mood to go!i wanna eat…my pizza rather that goin’ to see thoz stupid things!!once again my mood swing,and see…your status changed and seems its just ignoring me!i’m to sad to think!!!my fault right!!keep blaming myself…!!!ouchh…its 10.00pm and i have to cleanup myself..then go for study!!ok…


yummy chezzy choc cake inda boxx!!!

chezzzyyy creamyy seafood lasagna…hahaha(actually dah sejuk dah tu..)

its cool to fight!! and then forgive each other….hurmm!!sorry!!ok la..i’m off now!! see ya!! and chowww..

saturday… :)….thought…. Saturday, Feb 19 2005 

So its begins….

huhuhu…..lastnite tdo nearly 5.30am, lepas tak larat nak voice dah!hihihi..then tetitun, pagi ni dikejutkan ngan bunyi sms from tinie..gud morning2!balas-balas message ngan die, then sambung balik tido…hihih!!bout 10.30am..baru exactly wake up!!huhuh…still dengar vc mode agi, today is Saturday!!and memang relax timer jer hari nie,lepas operasi basuh baju tu….and take a bath, then i went for lunch,!at first nak bli fish & chips but then, cafe westren tu close plaks..last2 just makan burger kunfu jer, nak makan nasi xde slera…naik atas balik & layan Japs Seriess “orange day”.comella satoshi tuh…hihihi…. huhuh..


Satoshi..Tsumabuki- “orange day”

Oklah… tak tau nak post ape lagi hari ni..seriously blur, and dont have mood todo anythings….!! ( pelik ngan hari nie….. nape ehh???…) ok la chowww!!! nak makan muffin blueberry..yum22..

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