moment to remember… Monday, Sep 20 2004

music :

Saturday, September 25, 2004

*new blogg… dejavuhurt…

yahh.. todayy workss… otey laaa.. hurmmm words from hide smlm sum parts tuh menyedarkan aku!!yah.. tQs.. !!huhhhhh!!butt.. i juz feel lonely.. i asked maself y?.. i still got Hide.. juz had to gv him sum times.. to heal ul the pain that burned on him..yah.. hez the ones who chooseeddd itt!!… yah.. i wanna b wif him.. but, everytimes i talk or cet wif him hati aku sakitt**even i still can smiles when saw hez cutiee face kat web cem tuh!! he asked me todo the hardest things for me.. he oredi said the things tats made me hurt!! he neva no.. he neva cared!! ma hart.. he neva realised.. how precious he was to me.. before i know ul the things.. all the stupidity..all thiz!! i know i cant point ul thiz to him, i knew.. he neva meant intented to do thoz things.. but wat he oredi done till in ma mind.. n i cant let go!!yah… maybe i shud open ma hart to sum1 else.. let everyone knws me.. change maself..tantalizesss in me..yah!!shud let go thiz feeling?? i shud think.. i shall find the harts that wl treasured ma hart..goldenly, preciously..!!rite now i feel like i wuz nuting to the person that i thought wuz everything.. zul wuz rite!!neva let all ur hart & feel 100% go the person that u luv!! coz when its hurrt.. it wud coz 100% pain too… even ma hurt not 100% but, i still feel nuting… …!!!i feel deeply drowninggg…**half ly dead!!~~** mum saidd.. u wuz diging the hole.. n u wz trying to jump through it??!!want it??!!** think for the future.. ayue for ma own sake!! dunt try wreck everytingg…..-hurmm i knew.. ape eh ma fault? am i wrong??!!ha hart… argghhhh today g pasar mlm… aku bli mcm2.. butt.. huh, everytime g psar mlm.. aku tringat Hide.. … maybe arini aku bit semangat skit.. no more.. wishy-washy moment..:(!! even hati aku still same.. .. tau tak aku bli ape?? huhu sateyy.. putu bamboo… popiah basah…(hikss.. same taste cam hide..) !! die suke original recipe.. aku suke.. die suke sambal2.. aku pun suke.. die suke..kuih keria..kuih tuh..kuih ni.. sume same ngan aku… huh!! i know everyhingggg (mostly) bout himmm… !!** aduhh… bli banyak2 nie.. sume x abis makan..:(.. huh.. wat todo?- nak die nak amik2.. konsi ngan aku…? tonite juz ave sum cet wif hide… ..yahhh..** .. ngantuKKKss … arghh sweepp sume spyware kat pc aku!! damn aaa… !! nak kene format pc niee!! … …..!!nite.. !!!i wuz buried aliveee by ma luvv..arghhhh….

ayue at 10:52 AM

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Friday, September 24, 2004

workkksss.. !! aku tak concentrate langsung!! auntie pun marah aku ckp aku buat kije xconcentrate!! aku preasure…!! mcm aku fikir… dgn kije ni lagi byk benda nak ingat.. nampak mcm simple tp sbb aku sorang je yg kije..!! so byk benda ku nak ingat… yelah!! maybe aku bukan la nak bedah org or.. nak buat mesin.. yelah who am i ha? nuting… !! yah… hurmm aku tau.. rite now im free to type… … yelah aku dh changed sume nie… maybe ni yg terbaikk…w/pun aku rs name blog tuh betui2 bermakna kat aku… ..xpelah… aku xtau nak buat ape!! aku sedih.. n i told mum everyting.. every single things… kije mcm suck!! lunch pun aku minum air je.. mkn 2 suap dah xde slera… !! maybe aku rase xde perasaan mcm ni pun xpe.. bile aku sorang kat opis.. aku terfikir n aku rs nak nangiss… aku rs hilang sgalanya.. benda ni yg aku dapat..:( sampai skung aku xmkn ape.. just minum jer… ntahla..

bile aku kenal Syed in 13 Dec 2003.. i juz know him as afrenz.. yg owiz call me… bbut rite now!! arghhhh sedihnye aku.. sgt sedih…. maybe he will think aku senang nak org suke aku.. tp aku bkn camtu, syed.. die aduhh aku sakit.. sakit sgt…:(… hurmm hide.. yahhh.. gotta change ma blog name back to normal- scarecrow!! die yang suruh buat camni…pening pale aku…huh…:(.. hurm.. hurrrmmmm…. ma hart wuz empty!! aku xtau nak decide ape2… !! ma hart wuz hurt.. tgk hide hurt.. i can feel it too…aku tau.. ***hide sayanggggggggggggg diaaaa…. nape die wat dia camtuh**? nape die wat aku plak camni??.. hurrmmmmm … aku hurtttt.. i owizz hurttt… yah!! lepas nie.. esok tukar balik ke blog baru… otey!!;;)…… !!- i’m here to help as what he want me todo!!.. i’m lone..:( !! arghhh!! banayk sangat benda aku nak fikir…!!tp aku xde semangat langsung.. hide ckp.. think bout ur future? yelahh.. but sume benda ni pengaruhi aku!! n hidup aku skung… i keep asking maself.. wat shud i do??…!! nape senang je org brubah?? nape… xfikir dulu..?!! nape?… nape senang je org ckp satu kesilapan…?nape?…yah,,, i know… thoz pain need time to heal.. so.. biar la mase tentukan… aku mmg lemah nak buat keputusan.. !!aku xtau nak uat ape?!! nak apply pun tak, fikir kiije lagi… fikir mak aku lagi.. personal life aku lagi.. future aku lagi!! aduhhh… aduh.. ape lagi yg aku nak buat???….. hey b strong gurl!!;;)

ayue at 11:34 PM

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gonna be the end of the day!! xgi kije.. ding nutingg… arghh!! nuting!!n nutingg… whre am i on??whre?…

ayue at 8:17 AM

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Thursday, September 23, 2004

ntahlaa….ntahla……arini aku xgi kije!! aku langsung lemah… xdaya.. n nutingg… aku rs hilang sgalanya….hilang org yg slama ni bagi harapan kat aku.. yg sayang aku…….aku xtau la.. issit wrong to luv sumbody??? in pain!! sampai hati die.. i created thiz blog becoz of u… for the moments that we shared…tergamak die marah aku… throw me like i neva exist in his life… like he neva appreciated me?? y? y?or said nice words to me??.. bile aku cal zila.. wat he expect me to said actually?? wat??… zila… i juz wanna told her that pliz dunt hate me..i wont hate her oso.. neva!!.. ape salah aku hah? ape?… sakit aku.. !! y he said die tersilap?? nape?sennag jer die ckp camtuh kat aku senang jer…. after all yg die bagi… sakitnye aku… lebih.. tanpa die sedar.. koz die bagi lebih harapan kat aku… n senang nak marah aku… n campak aku!! arghhhh…. nape slama ni die ckp die sayang kat aku sorang?? bile aku tanya.. betul2 sayang ke…? die cakap yer!! then, last nite die ckp memula tuh atas dasar kecian! wat da ****!!! damn la….!! n senang die marah aku.. Ya Allah, sakitnya aku… he neva knew… ape yg die tau, die hanya nak peluang utk Zila… camne aku nak biarkan die pergi.. ?? how?? after all he did..he gave.. i gave to him!! my preciouss… huh? wat precious mean to him? he knew wat luvs mean?? y?…. n all hopes!! how can i delete thoz things? hah? how…??… senang die ckp sayang… senang die ckp nak appreaciate aku sampai bila2.. senang die muahs aku.. senang die ckp sume2 … n harapan tuh banyak sangat2.. banyak2///… arghh!! Ya Allah… ape salah aku nie… air mata aku asik mengalir jer… n harapan aku byk kat die.. sekarang satu-satu jatuh… mcm nuting!!maybelah… aku yg kedua.. n aku tempat die lepaskan perasaan die.. sbb zila xmcm aku.. tp, penah tak die care perasaan aku… n bile aku tanye die.. die ckp nak appreciate kat aku, die fall kat aku… sampai bila2… aku tanyye betul ke? die ckp betul..ayu!! & aku ckp ngan die.. aku harap benda nie betul2.. n jgn main2..sampai bila..!!but rite now??senang je… tiap kali aku tanye die.. camner die ngan zila, die kate dah xde perasaan langsung.. so i trust him…i trust him.. even prasaan tu ade doubt..!! aku bagi lagi masa & peluang kat die.. ntahla, maybe its ma fault.. sume ni jadi.. mmg salah aku… coz i’m nuting pun slama nie pada die.. ape yg die ckp… even die ckp last nite he meant it.. but… ape makna tu sume sekarang..??aku bli i-talk card.. w/pun duit aku xde pon, coz aku tak kisah coz i know he luvs me…n luv him…aku ketepikan sume org dlm hati aku, bcoz of him.. n aku harap sgt nak jumpe die.. tengok die makan sekor ayam kat Kenny Roges ngan die..g rumah die.. teman die makan2 kat kedai kak die….. bawak die jalan2.. amik die kat bustop umah die.. jln2 kat melaka…g waterfall ngan die…die nak ajar aku berenang.. n ape yg aku paling trasa.. die ckp die nak duduk rumah aku, tengok tv same ngan aku… sama2.. dan aku mmg planning nak amik MMU Melaka coz nak dekat ngan die, aku planning duit gajii bulan ni nak upgrade pc sume tuk die….. abis tuh.. skrg mcm mane/?? **** aku juz tunggu die cal Zila… know the rite..answer… dan dlm mase tuh.. aku menangissss… cry me a river…. he neva care bout ma feeling.. aku xde slera nak buat ape2… n nutingg…. aku tau, w/pun zila trima die.. aku akan menangis.. kalo zila xtrima die pon.. aku akan nangis jugak!! coz.. i knew.. it neva be the same again.. neva///…!! kalo die kate die bersalah kat zila seolah2 die bunuh org… mcm mane plak rs die bersalah kat aku??at first he wanted to throw zila away.. n amik aku.. rite now.. die nak buang aku amik zila blk.. huhh.. senangje die.. :(… aduh aku sakitt..sakitt… aku tau, ape yg die akan ckp ngan zila bile die cal zila, i can feel it… n sakitnye hati aku… coz mean nuting to him… nuting… coz die kenal aku sbb “tersilap”… how can i let go ma feeling? how?? ….

ayue at 11:36 PM

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Wednesday, September 22, 2004

hurrrmmm… i dunnooot knoww wat shud i do… rite now?? hurrmm at workk!! shuTT the FucKK offf!! mannn… tensiOn ajER.. n i keep thinkinG bout him… hussshhh n maself… where actually i’m standing on??… hurrMMM… after lunch time.. hide cal.. till end of my break!!.. hurMM… i feel totally sicKKK~~ yahhh… aku balik aku drive kete tuh speed giloss mcm nak mati!!** besh wayy to realise ma tension & ma emotion** thez lotsa things dlm pale otak aku!! i’m not eppy..coz i feel really sad rite now… i dunnot know where am i now??… hIde said.. die rase sedey coz he lost his frenz but die sayang aku he juz feel like he aredi lost his frenz…, yahh.. once again ii gave him time… hurmmm maybe hati aku ni mudah sgt sejukk!! mudah sgat ….is that anyone else yang same mcm aku??:(…!!** maNN!! i gv him preasuresss~~ n let ma hart hurtt to think?? damn itttttt…. !!!!
hurrmmm arghh tuniteee buat aku betuL2 sedeyy.. the thing that didnt eva know…!huh…hide@syed.. balik kijer he called me… but i can feel sumting wuz wrong n arghh he was sufferingg!! mannn!!i dont like to gv damn to all thiz things- !!argghhh!!! n when i try to call him .. noone answer!!huh~~ gimme sum preasure thre.. kat y.m he did nnot reply ma msg.. kat skype plak… he wuz apply offline, but when i call him.. enggaged!! mann… i know.. n i feell deeply hurttt!! – huh!! 10.32pm.. he called me up… till nearly 1.30am… n thiz conversation wuz totallyy!! arghhh… i neva know n i confused!! yahh,,,, aku rs aku tertipu sgt2…n i’m stuckk!!*** asking maself y?? y he did thiz to me? to the one he said he luv muchh.. noone else.. except me…!! wat the helll!!!** ** he said.. basicly, at 1st he luv me bcoz of sympathy.. dunt want to look me hurt… wushhhhisss….!! issitt?? then.. it become more n more… i cant accept thoz words… yahh!! keep thinking… !! yah i know.. from first i said i am afraid of loosing the person that i wud luv…n at that time..he oredi said he luvs me.. so watt the hell is that??? i’m asking him again how bout now??? u luv me becoz of wat?? now… he luv me becoz he lovs me..!! yahh… juz berpunca dari that thing “kesian” huh!! n he told zila bout thiz oso… yah…!! i dunnot know wat he told zila bout me?? i didnt know… i asking him?? who do u luv?? n he said BOTH!! wuargghhhh… thiz guy wuz totally TAMAK type!!** even he said he luvs me more.. he oredi told to himself he oredi chosed me.. her mum oso ..!! & i oredi trust his words.. i know wat he feel rite now!!he was crying…he was so upst n down!! wat i feel rite now is .. am i going to lose all the memories wif him??am i?? all the hopes that we oredi create?? ** promises..??n hopes sumday.. our feels nite before we will meet… am i going to ask him again??… memory cant erased.. n every moment he spend wif me… thez no single day i wud forget him…everytime i close n open maeyes u thre… u the one who will call me before i close ma eyes.. n u the one i will cal before i went for work* after work- every minutes..n he oso said almost everytimes he thinking bout me!!arghhhh… we both wuz crying!! issit ma fault/??** he want me to gv him a time… again…

hurmmm zila, i called her.. ntahla.. to her.. ayu xnah marah!! aku pun shocked y must called her??** u in ma blog oso zila… !! dlm hati aku i wont hate anybudy!!**not me??**
then, i cal hide for bout 5minutes.. last of ma card…nearly 2 i guess.. n he called me back!! aku xtau nak ckp ape… y must thiz story ended like thiz??he cried…n me?? pain wif no cure…!!! try to fall asleep.. but still terjaga2..i juz cant closed ma eyes…or fall to sleep… arghh nearly 4 inde moring… i read all the messages he gave he.. i return it back! husshh i cant sleepp.. n arghh!! he called me..again.. soh aku tdo.. close ma eyes.. arghhh… !!i try to forget all thiz things.. but i’m not that strong!!i’m not…. i juz need sum1 ..n die tanye boleh tak die jd sum1 tu?? ntahla.. i dunnot know…i feel lone noone else… beside me.. n.. arghh.. mate ni dah bengkak dah!! lame xrasa sedih sgt mcm ni…mum knew i wuz crying… arghh!!…tomorroww… aku xmo gi kije!!! i’m so tired!!**wif all thiz tears..
**thanks hide.. for all ur words..ur luv…ur hopes… ur bouquet of rosses …..
i’m the ones who heard his snored..for the 1st of his life, his breath…n every moment spend wif him… man!! i juz him…but.. shud i luv him now??shud i???…. or giving him another chance??!! all i know i juz cant let him go!!ha hart said no but ma mind still yah!! i owiz think to back off!! but i cant… ape dosa aku kat die pun aku xtau… n zila… i feel wrong to both of u… i’m nuting..i’m nting rite now!!
bile aku sedey n nagis mcm nie… aku trinagt die nyanyi lagu ni…. “Hapus airmatamu aku tak ingin kau menangis lg syg*yakinkan hati diantara resahmu*diriku takkan memilih meninggalkanmu..
Sekian waktu bersamatak mudah tuk menepis semua kenyataanku tak berbeda jalani keyakinan tapi kau yg ku inginkandari sglanya…
Di setiap rinduku hanya memanggilmukuyakin kau pun mengerti, ku tak ingin menanggalkan hati
sayangku dengarkan aku, tak mungkin ku melepasmukan* ku pertahankan kau cintaku*dan semua air matamu yang berarti di hidupku,slalubawalah cintaku bersamamu karna ku tetap milikmu*slamanya kan abadi slalu…… “
arghhhh.. i’m hurt…. y must i know n fall to thiz guy??

ayue at 7:23 PM

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

6.24am: i woke up!!in shocked… huhu xsangaka oredi 6 plus in de morning….& i think i juz mis sum1… or sumting… c ma hs.. huhu three misscalled.. ” no number” – i guess i knew..-Hide!!! huh.. aku tido mati malam td rasenyer… maybe i been too tired or sebab ubat batuk tu.. hurm but..i sleep in peace… !:p mebie..hihi.. but i feel like kina miss sumting..yah… 1 gud nite wish from hide .:P…yah, maybe… i juz a small matters… but for me.. every single moment.. sigle things.. moment between both of us.. is a matter… & i dunt want to miss those matters.. i ‘ll feel bit.. sad..luv is everyting.. n moment spending wif luvs is sumtings.. am i wrong to feel thiz way?…
” tuhan mengapa kau anugerahkan… cinta yang tak mungkin kan bersatu?”- the lyrics wuz so meaningful n sad too… yah… i think bout him??in ma mind keep on tingling..mingling.. wat does he really feel bout me? n he said he luv me.. more that i realise…so..sayang die mcm mane kat aku???…i juz cant stop luving him…as matter of fact, i cant deny ma true luv.. moi ppour toi….

***12.oopm: being bored inda opis… siting on ma own chair.. duing nuting.. yah!! at thiz moment.. peg from kementrian kewangan datang to check.. to let them giving fully recognised Bumiputera licence to the Can technology company…yah! i’m juz lepaks.. n misscal Hide once but he reply me back just once!!….hurmm bz in skool i guesss… .. juz wondering wat he was duing rite now?i juz damn bored…hurmm the situation now.. hurmm… remember me when i was woking in A-Famosa…..everyday wuz boring day!!!ya. at last.. all the investigation check bout the company established n thoz doc2 that i dunno wuz done-end~~!! Alhamdullilah….from 9.00 to 12.25pm…huhuhu help me.. i’m bored, but in the postive way… i’m juz relax here,,, nuting much todo!!no works!! just lepaks…n luking through the monitor only..huhu!!
oteyla.. let me think bout wat am i going to do..in the future???… maybe 3 years from now…i’m not witty enuf to finish ma study on 23years! yah.. thats ma choice ekcelly…yah now i oredi got ma HND in Business Info Tech.. unlucky.. i cant go to UK, Coventry U.. yahh.. !!ma cgpa is not 3,50 above maa… JPA cannot sponsor me go thre:(- ma fault oso 3.sumting is not enuf!!… hurmm.. i know bout business management, acc and finance:X… huhu.. n i know bout IT field oso.. eventhough i’m not gud in thoz prog lang..huh!!- yahhhh i’m the lazzzyy bummm hihi… owiz like to take things easily…& by nov or Dec.. i’m going to continue ma study..yah.. !!too old… yah bcoz of ma fault.. n ma choice.. i dunt want to regret anytings.. coz its ma choice,, even mum owiz gimme that preasures!!arghhhh…. yah. .. day by day.. lotsa things had happened to me… all the things…n i realised.. !! sume tuh pengajaran bg aku… thoz memory, dark secret**.. n i learned from that.. yah.. ma journeyyy is not that smooth..n i oredi going through sum tough part in malife……

yah.. that evening… fami nyer adik dtg tuk betui kan pc die!!hihi… famie dah bg tau awl2 pc die probss…huhu!!

ma work end at 6.oopm.. i i went home….
**88

yahh.. bout 6.30pm sampai umah… hurmm truss online… n hide egur aku, maybe i bit late tegur die coz i gotta probs connecting wif y.m.. damn!! ** yah.. skypng wif him.. n he told me thoz harshhh…tough… thingss.. that only can make me hurt everytime i thing bout it… … n rite now i juz feel guilty to her… hurmm i can feel wat her feel..rite now, same as wat i feel month2 ago.. till now…. n i feel i being cheating by him, huh!! yah,,, wat else i can do? accept? or let go?… hurmmm.. he said he luv me.. only me.. bt rite now… he said in de diff way… huh.. n he meant it??..he said he feel sad if he lose her.. but he will feel really hurt if he loose me..!! yahhh.. he said.. i luv u more..than her.. n in thiz case..so he luv me… yah!!:( bcoz of i luv him more rite?? butt… i juz confuse rite now??… but.. he said to me.. he luv me more that i expect..more than i realised?? n arghhhh wat that muaahhss for?? wat does thoz words means to u..hideee??!!! ntahlaaaaahhh.. i oredii leave ma frenz, Slym… i told him that i dunt want becoz of the small matter n i loose ma precious ones..!!n rite now i feel noone wif me…n since i luv him.. i dunt ave anyone else to luv… yah!! maybe i’m shutting down the change for ma hart to luv other person!! yahhh… i’m sori…!!i’m juz hurt rite nowww… i dunno wether all he said wuz rite or wrong?? i dunno wat he was duing rite now?? -all i know.. i m not fine.. guilty*** yah!! can i trust him back???…..or….!! i feel nuting rite now… n i’m confusedd….!! who else can i refer?? ma mum??…yah!! mum owiz says.. find a person that only will luv u… !!ya Allah… how can i let go thiz feeling.. i dunt ave any guts!! n i’m speechless… argghhh…. sakit aku!! pale sakit lagi …. arghhhh…. his status?? thhos empty n pain, thos pain wif no cure same wif me.. issit for her??let her know..he is hurting… issit?? Arghhhh!!!! …. i’m dead!***

hurrmmm.. SAKITTT OTAKKK!!!rase nak vomiTTT..peningg22 sume ade…all mixed together!!when i call his house he said, die ckp last ngan that ****, i feel like sedeyyy ..but then, he call me back bout eleven sumting till nearly 1.30am…macam yg dibincangkan!!i dunnot know wat to type….yahhh!!! but rite now i know i oredi gave him another change to prove his luv…again!!yah!! again..:( even its hurt…even last nite i oredi felt wanted to quit all thiz!! n maybe had sum gutsy to let go thiz feeling.. but i let him to decide at he wanted mostt!!~n he said to me.. he will neva let go me..!!**blank…maybe arini wud be the final day to him… hurrmmm, i knew that gurl hurt!!!n rite now i felt guilty.. !yah!!maybe i’m not supposed to feel thiz way rite??..i dunnot know wat Hide told her bout me…i dunnot know wat will happened in da future..!!am i going to trust his words again??but… i still gave him thiz chance coz i dunt want to see he hurt.. aku akan cube percaya dia!!coz skung situasi die dah lain dari dulu….. n aku nak dibuktikan ape yg die xleh buktikan slamani mcm die ckp…:) n.. at the end, aku xmo fikir lagi pasal hari ni… n mulai esok!!aku nak lupekan all the sad2 ting…!! he’s ma precious.. noone else.. !!thats wat i know.. now….tata…

ayue at 7:49 PM

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Monday, September 20, 2004

How much longer will it take to cure this?
Just to cure it cause I can’t ignore it if its love (love)
Makes me wanna turn around and face me
but I don’t know nothing ’bout love ….. :X//…..\:D/

Watching every motion in my foolish lover’s game *On this endless ocean finally lovers know no shame* Turning and returning to some secret place inside *Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say* My love, Take my breath away ….take my breath awayyy…..:X….

and todayyy…..

Monday suckkk!!! yah… tension & blurr!! do the last minute work!! n maybe this included last minute preparation for work oso :p… huhuh.. before goin work.. ma lil hide cal me up!!…yah.. before havin ma bfast n go to work! yah.. stuck in jammed.. becoz of the damn lorry buduhhh…driver..damn ittt husshhhhh…. yelah work start at 9…kuar rumah dah 8.50 hihi…hihi, once again its ma fault.. yah thiz lately, i dunt ave any determination on doing ma job.. entahlaaa…. may be i feel sum preasure on itt!!yah..huhuhu…. damn it.. once again aku kene marah ngan aunti.. argh@becoz of that price & invoice…ntahla.. i been blur…n not really concentrated in ma work! n yah… the IRS system wuz suck oso!!! cannot duing any alteration n arghhhhhhhh so complicated….: after generate invoice nutinn cant be changed….!!yah i know…ma fault.. n i get into trouble now!! -pekak kan telinga jer bile auntie dah marah ….. ntah mane aku dah letak ma sense of hearing…???!!!…..huh… yah! rite noww… ma head like blowingggg..outtt..spining around….dizzinesss….huhuh!!!…… inde pening2 mood, i’m still had to do ma work!!:(.. customers in.. n customers out…. !!!lunch time:.. KFC… i saw that cutie lil boy of UNIKL..Hide called me up.. till end of ma luch time….i’m alone…

1.55pm: continuing ma job… huhu auntie cam dah otey ngan aku… yah.. i knew her feeling…eventhough, i am the person that easily getting hurt.. n sensitive but i can go through it.. n easily calm down.. coolllll she’s ma boss and if i’m on her shoes. i will feel the same way ooso….yah… n aku slalu sabar… 6.00pm:prepared to go home… before that.. i bought that pencuci pinggan…roti.. n peanut butter..huhu whooohhhh.. owiz met famie thre… at the sundry dpartment.. bout 6.40pm, sampai umah… cry hide n he called me back! asking him.. wat he did on the whole monday….? hurmmm yah.. skyping wif the gurl**.. n i felt..:(.. jelousy n all the -ve thought came through me again… yah!! wat he said..” its not that bad as wat u think?!!”… yah hopefully he was rite…wat else can i do aight? ?? juz trust on him…he was so far awayy…… then, in y.m.. he was ceting wif that nenek! argh once again… benci.. yah.. -ve mind…n thoz hormon.. controlling ma brain….influenced ma mind!!!- keep asking ma self? wat so interesting bout chating wif other person we dunno, when we oredi have a special ones in hart..??? is that any convinience?maannnnn…… hate ittt…time goess by.. n i’m cool back to normal!! hikss.. after saw his cuti lil face… stop ceting wif him… when he watch the “ainori”… then, i log off.. n… wucing muvi oso… call him for bout 30seconds.. n he said he will call me when he want to sleep… yahhh.. nearly 12… n mate pon dah ngantukss.. to the slumberrr… ZZzzzzz…(wuargghhhhhhh)………..

ayue at 9:39 PM

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Sunday, September 19, 2004

yeaaaahhhh!!!!! wakEE up… eighTt sumtingggg inde muning….. hurrrmmm n woke up from ma dreammmm n i dream bouTT hide.. truSS misCALL diee… n reply me bacKKK… try to caL him.. but… die xmo angkat coz die xmo..tipoN kteeee maHALLL.. so he called me back!!!huhuh…yelooooo…..gudmurninggggg,,, ma beb booo….. ;;)….!!! …. wat to do ?? hurrrrmmm kemas2 ma home sweet home… :X….. kemas ma bilikkk titun…. n watching mesian idols…then,,, then…. at to do??? hurrrmmmm today… juz gayuting n ceting wif Hideee… nuting mucchh interstinggg…happened… hurrmmm nite tuh…. kene marah ngan mum coz xsusun lagi borang UPSI… huhuhuhu.. ma fault.. suke buat kije last2 minitt…then,Zul tipon… huhuhu… he owiz marah ngan aku coz xmessage or call dieee.. hihi once again!! soweii zul!!… then, ma uncle n his cutie lil driver dtg tido umah aku… huhuh.. from jaybeeee…. hurrr,,,, as ussual laa.. i hd to kemas2 all the things… sediakan bilik tuk die.. huhu… n that nite continuing…. cetinggg… skyping.. n gayuting wifff Hide.he called me…… huhuh…. till ma mate dah ngantuKKKSSsss…. wuarghhhhhhhhhhhh……..tata….

remarkS:**kene marah ngan Hide coz miscal umah die… buat die dc… download… soweii,,, coz i dunno… soweeeiii

listening to : Mr. Children – Kurumi